At some point, a marriage cannot be fixed and should not continue, especially when there is a tendency for it to be physically or psychologically abusive. Marriage should be the space for the couple to provide emotional shelter and support to each other.
In other cases, the fading passion of love is enough to be the reason for a person to think of a divorce. The situation is perhaps well described in B.B. King’s song “The Thrill is Gone.” When there is no excitement or that ‘thrill’ you once feel, marriage may exist no more than a routine.
In any situations where divorce is felt necessary, here are the guides for you.
Think of the legal consequences
Do you have children with your current spouse? If you do, then you should carefully think of the custody of your child and how your spouse is going to react to the divorce.
If your divorce is grounded on the abusive behavior of your spouse, with solid proofs and legitimate legal procedure, you will get the custody without being contested.
But if the divorce is grounded on other reasons, things may get complicated and take a longer time to proceed. The best solution for this matter is that for you to open up a discussion as soon as possible with your partner.
Hearing in the court can waste your time, as well as your spouse’s. Convince him/her to opt for a pursing divorce mediation or arbitration instead. Both require you to hire a legal attorney but without a public exposure of your divorce.
Divorce is not a competition.
When you file the divorce, you should expect unnecessary attention coming from your closest colleagues. Some will add fuel to the fire and try to influence what you need to do.
Divorce is a private business, and every case is different from each other. You should be careful with any encouragement coming from the third party. Always bear in mind that your action will affect the overall process of the divorce and it is crucial not to lose your temper during the process, especially during the hearing about the custody right.
Do not compete for the custody, but think of what is best for your child. The wisest act would be hiring an attorney and a psychologist and make them decide for you with the arbitration option. Mediation is usually not enough since every side will think that he/she is the most capable to claim the custody.
Divorce documents are essential to smoothen the process
Unless you take the alternatives, dealing with the legal matter through mediation or arbitration, going to the court will require both you and your spouse to prepare a lot of divorce documents. They determine the outcome of the custody right, spousal support, visitation schedule, and divorce decree.
Court decision depends on the strength of the proofs for both sides and how they are relevant as facts to the claim. Financial documents might be necessary in case there are possible disputes for the marital property. Think carefully of this in advance, and make a thorough preparation.